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QUIPS & QUOTES

The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world. --Leonard Cohen

Do you want to drive somebody crazy? Send him a telegram saying, "Disregard first telegram."

When ransacking a town, always remember: Pillage first and *then* burn, not the other way around. --David Henry

If a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear it, then who will notify the next of kindling?

A wise old man once said that humor is to life what shock absorbers are to an automobile.

I'll never understand how a person can discriminate against somebody based on the color of their skin. Unless it's like, green or something -- with pus oozing out of it. --Jim Rosenberg

The introspections of conscience help make us human and keep us decent. Ironically, those who need such introspection the most have the least of it." --Anitra L. Freeman

Have you noticed that no matter where you put the suggestion box... one of the first suggestions is where you can put the suggestion box!

Remember when we all wanted to look like Elizabeth Taylor? Well, now I do. --Carrie Snow

Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope. --C.P. Snow

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. --Socrates

Wonder is the feeling of a philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder. --Socrates

Some days I think it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Like Saturdays, when I don't have to go to work. --R.M. Weiner

Man, are these [Texas] people ever casual when it comes to clothing! All it takes to confirm that is one visit to a Willie Nelson's Formal Wear shop. --Christ White

Time: That which man is always trying to kill, but which ends in killing him. --Herbert Spencer

Rest: Death after life. --Edmund Spenser

If you want a thing well done, do it yourself. --Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Power, after love, is the first source of happiness. --Stendhal

Marriage is like a tango... it takes two, and occasionally one has to bend over backward to keep the dance going.

Too often in politics, the man of thought cannot act, and the man of action does not think. --Richard Nixon

In Texas, many people shop at "Western Wear" stores, where even the mannequins have beer bellies. --Chris White

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