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|IN A LAUNDROMAT:|
Automatic Washing Machines.
|LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:|
Bargain Basement is upstairs
|IN AN OFFICE:|
Will the person who took the step ladder yesterday please
|IN ANOTHER OFFICE:|
After tea break is over, please wash the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
|OUTSIDE A FARM:|
Horse manure, 50 pence per pre-packed bag; 20 pence do-it-yourself.
|ON A CHURCH DOOR:|
This is the gate of Heaven, enter all ye through this door.
|ENGLISH SIGN ON A GERMAN CAFE:|
Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating.
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.
|ON A NEW TOWN HALL TO BE OPENED BY THE PRINCE OF WALES:|
The Town Hall is closed until opening.
Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also.
|AT THE SIDE OF A SUSSEX ROAD:|
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
|OUTSIDE A DISCO:|
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town.
Anyone passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the District Council.
|NOTICE TO THE RESIDENCE OF THE WILTSHIRE PARISH:|
Due to increasing problems with litter, louts & vandals, we must ask everyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
|DRY CLEANERS WINDOW:|
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
|ON A MOTORWAY GARAGE:|
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps.
|HEALTH FOOD SHOP:|
Closed due to illness.
Elephants please stay in your car.
For anyone who has children & doesn't know it, there is a day-care on the first floor.
The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges.
If you do not know how to read,
We repair anything.
|NORFOLK FARM GATE:|
|LONDON OFFICE BUILDING:|
Toilet out of order, please use floor below.
|Copyright (C) 1995-2004 by Kaye Mastin Mallory|