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Amusing Ads

EMPLOYMENT

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. 

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. 

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. 

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 

Man, honest. Will take anything. 

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. 

ADVERTISING

And now, the Superstore: unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. 

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. 

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. 

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. 

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. 

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! 

Our experienced Mom will take care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

FOR SALE/FOR RENT

For sale: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 weeks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. 

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. 

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

For Sale: Three canaries of undermined sex. 

For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. 

Great Dames for sale. 

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. 

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. 

LOST AND FOUND

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. 

TRAVEL

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

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