Anyone who is familiar with the academic, business or government worlds knows that there seems to be a rule that says  'When choosing between a simple and a more abstract term, always pick the more confusing one'.

In the past, this has been a great setback for clear-headed writers and speakers. But now modern technology has now found a solution - the Systematic Buzz Phrase Synthesizer.

The synthesizer is simple to use. Whenever you want to say nothing in an authoritative way, simply pick any three-digit number, and then get the matching word from each column. For example, 424 produces 'functional monitored programming,' which should impress anyone untrained in detecting high-level abstractions.